Category: Ruminations

11/3/09

Today I went for a Post Op Camisole fitting…it’s a sexy garment that I get to wear after surgery until the drain comes out.  Talking with others who have been through surgery, the improvements over the years caused a bit of camisole envy I think.  There’s even a pocket for the drain.  The “fitta” was really…


11/1/09

I’ve heard from several people that they were chomping at the bit waiting for the surgery news.  Several loved ones told me/us that they were checking the site throughout the day on Monday to get the skinny.   The analytics site told B that the viewing of the site peaked incredibly that day. We were intentional in our writing…


The Conundrum

B: We’ve gotten happy news lately, and we’ve completed the neo-adjuvant chemo.  Ironically this hasn’t been just butterflies and light.  From what I’ve seen,  P has been so focused on getting done with Chemo, that she kinda lost sight of the ball.  We’ve had to deal with a lot more, and different, side effects this round…


We feel you

I’m having a tea this morning before we leave for the appointment with our surgeon. I was reminded yesterday, and have been quite regularly, that amidst all the food, rides, chores, surprises arriving every day on our doorstep, we are significantly blessed with love and support from afar. Late last night I awoke and could…


Waiting: a memory

As time moves closer to the end of chemo, we move closer to more scans.  B and I experienced some massive anxiety junk waiting for the ultimate scan that told us that this was not metastatic disease.  Our oncologist is very straight with us, which we appreciate.  When she first met with us in mid…


10/12/09, Pick’n’um up and put’n ‘m down

P, keeps pressing me to articulate the partners experience of breast cancer and chemotherapy. The other day I was having a wonderful conversation with a co-worker, a 20 year survivor of lymphoma. And, she has really taken a concern in my well-being, very sweet. The point however, was I mentioned that an essay was tumbling…


10/8, Time keeps on slipping, slipping into the future

E and I went camping/canoeing last weekend. It was a grand adventure. With P’s situation I’m afraid I/we lost track of E’s birthday. This losing track is something that I’m struggling with in this situation. Mostly it is anomalous sense of time passing, more than forgetting. I didn’t forget his birthday, I just couldn’t keep…


Going to Chemo

          Today was the first time I went with my mom to chemo.  I wasn’t sure what to expect but nothing surprised me. All we did was sit in a room and wait for the process to be completed. Even though there wasn’t much to do, I pictured in my mind that the red liquid being put into my mom’s…


9/23, Cowgirls, magic, and biblical ironies

Day 1, cycle 2, I think if we were to ask P if she were nervous, or something like it, she would deny it.  But, after these few years, I can detect a layer of subtle anxiety.  I think it is kind of like when sparring and somebody demonstrates that they can land a solid…


9/20 Green Tomatoes and Hair Energy

Of course I cannot just keep this blog about cancer.  Life goes on and anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been steeped in the kitchen, and vow to keep my grandmothers’ italian kitchens alive.  This morning is chilly.  I love this weather.  Those of you in the northeast know the delay to our growing season which…