P, keeps pressing me to articulate the partners experience of breast cancer and chemotherapy. The other day I was having a wonderful conversation with a co-worker, a 20 year survivor of lymphoma. And, she has really taken a concern in my well-being, very sweet. The point however, was I mentioned that an essay was tumbling…

E and I went camping/canoeing last weekend. It was a grand adventure. With P’s situation I’m afraid I/we lost track of E’s birthday. This losing track is something that I’m struggling with in this situation. Mostly it is anomalous sense of time passing, more than forgetting. I didn’t forget his birthday, I just couldn’t keep…

Day 1, cycle 2, I think if we were to ask P if she were nervous, or something like it, she would deny it.  But, after these few years, I can detect a layer of subtle anxiety.  I think it is kind of like when sparring and somebody demonstrates that they can land a solid…

I’ve been trying to make more sense of the Cow Girl metaphor.  Today I remembered favorite songs from a long time ago and far far away. The last two lines of the refrain was a lot of how I felt when I was 18.  “‘Cos they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone. Even with…