I have always taken my children’s birthdays off.  They have the choice whether they want to take the day with me or not.  In elementary and jr high school hanging with me was the choice.  What we did was entirely up to them.  This year on E ‘s birthday he and B went camping.  Looking back, I’m happy to see that I blogged a bit on that day.  At some point on birthing days, we all get together and talk about the birth of the celebrant.  It’s so much fun to hear A talk about E‘s birth.  (She was 2 1/2 and when she saw E hanging out in the pool of water, she was so excited and said  “He’s got a ‘penus’ just like Daddy!” and  B said, “Now everyone knows my secret!”)  It’s so much fun to hear E tell the story of A‘s birth, even though he wasn’t even a blip on the radar.  (She pooped great gobs of green meconium all over me minutes after she was born.)

A appropriately wanted to be with friends today, but we got to go together to the motor vehicle bureau to get her picture license.   It was a cool rite of passage.  Afterwards I picked up her car from school and took it away for a couple hours and put a few surprises in it, which she will be experiencing just about now.  I’ve spent the rest of the day preparing her chosen meal and thinking about her. 

This is one of those times when it seems that all the constillations have lined up in the right order.  Radiation ended yesterday.  A‘s birthday today, mine tomorrow, mother’s day on Sunday.  Whether it rains, shines or blizzards, I’m happy.  I met with my herbalist yesterday and am now on new herbs for boosting my immune system, detoxifying and energizing my body and mind.  I will be doing a nutritional detox in a week or so as well.   It’s spring, there is new growth as we come out of the time of rest and darkness.

I have thought a lot about our children, our nieces and nephews, the children of our friends and our children’s friends.  I tend to get along with kids, and have loved watching all these young people growing up.  Many of these people have known me for a long time, so I would imagine hearing of my diagnosis and seeing me change before their eyes might have been challenging to some degree or another.  Seeing me vulnerable has made some others feel vulnerable, if that makes sense.   In spite of learning that someone they love had  a life threatening illness, in spite of my ups and downs, being tired, losing my hair, not being able to participate to the extent I usually do, they found strength to greet me with smiles, hugs, cheers, chats.  Some broached the subject by asking to feel my head, or how I was feeling, or what it was like to have cancer.  Some treated me like nothing was going on and this was wonderful.  I want to thank all the young people in my life and in my children’s lives for keeping things moving along when our family was in a sort of limbo.  This has been a long 9 months.

B had mentioned in an entry long ago that the timing of diagnosis and treatment was similar to that of our pregnancies.  Childbirth for us was an amazing and energizing affair.  Bringing these lives into our lives and learning together has been such a treat for us.  Breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and now recovery is and will be a learning together.  All of our supports are learning with us as well, still checking in, letting go of committments they took on to help us through with tenderness.  We all have changed because of this.   Birthing day, indeed.