Hey you guys.  Well, the snow did amount to something after all.  We woke on Friday morning to a beautiful white canopy at our house.  I know some were cursing the heavens, but “G.O.’s” love the first snows.  I do.

Last night I received a bunch of calls from the anesthesia department at the hospital just checking in with stuff to prepare for Tuesday.  I had just visited with my herbalist the day before, and received some presurgery herbal support.  The nurse said that she is supposed to tell me to stop all herbs and when I explained that I doubted my herbalist would knowingly give me anything that would get in the way with my blood clotting, she suggested I speak with the surgeon.  Surgeon was in surgery and would not be able to talk with me until Monday.  I asked to speak with a nurse in the surgery department, she appropriately informed me that she did not know enough about herbs to advise.  SO, I emailed my herbalist and we worked out a compromise.

After the calls I observed my first twinge of fear.  The port-a-cath surgery was the first surgery I’ve ever had, and the anesthesia is being kicked up a notch for the mastectomy.  It’s bizarre thinking that I’ll be checking out for a couple hours while so much is going on.  B plans to be there, of course, with a book, his lap top and all his thoughts.  While the nodes are being detected with a geiger counter of sorts and then run to pathology, while the pathologist calls the surgeon who is working her magic and is up to her elbows in me, while the anesthesiologist makes sure I’m not feeling anything, while the assistants do their thing, B will be sitting in the waiting room hearing each second tick by.  I know that some of you will also be marking time in your own worlds.  I know B will be fine, but I think he has one of the hardest jobs.  I have the easiest job once the anesthesia is administered.  Never having gone through that before, I was amazed that it felt like I was being prepped one second and told that it was over the next.   I am fully aware that so many of you will be holding me up during that time when I’m beamed up to the mother ship.  Gratitude abounds.

Between now and that time when I go into lala land, I must remain awake to my thoughts.  I have enough energy to do the things I want to do this weekend.  On Monday I’ll be working a bit in the morning.  My toughest job, I think, is just observing my thoughts and not getting stuck in them, especially if they are anxious in nature.

As far as surgery updates go, I have no idea when we will be able to post anything here.  I hope you can assume that things went well.  Our surgeon has over 20 years experience, and we have a lot of confidence in her skills.  This is  becoming a fairly routine surgery, unfortunately.  We know that the PET picked up no activity.  We don’t know the node involvement and will know more after Tuesday.   If there is limited node involvement seen, then I may not have to have radiation.  If a lot of nodes are involved, then radiation it is.  Others have had to do this and got through it just like getting through chemo.  If many nodes have to be removed, then I may have to deal with arm swelling, and there is a bunch of stuff to be done about that, and that would be rather permanent if I understand it correctly.  I will have my life and at this point that is the ball my eye is on.