I’ve been trying to make more sense of the Cow Girl metaphor.  Today I remembered favorite songs from a long time ago and far far away.

The last two lines of the refrain was a lot of how I felt when I was 18. 

“‘Cos they’ll never stay home and they’re always alone.
Even with someone they love.”

But, I’m 44 — I didn’t die young, and I’ve seen the power of community.  I’ve seen what people can do when they focus on the goal and the good and not on taking credit or making money.  I see it here too as we … deal with this situation.   I’ve seen how having children changes one as well.  But I think P really hit it on the head in her ruminations about mortality, hers, and watching her father’s passing.  That, “always alone”,  in the end we are strangers even to ourselves. 

Yet, this is different.  Breast Cancer, particularly the kind we have, can be overcome.  Long healthy happy lives can be led.  This isn’t a death sentence.   I’ve recalled watching P deliver both children and the amazing toughness and endurance.   I know the fabric she is made of.  This “bump” in the road will probably take about as long as gestation.  The outcome is a little uncertain, but it will be a new life much like children at the end.

Philosophical horse shit  and weak analogies aside. Chemo sucks;  friends who drop food by and give the kids rides are angels; and I like Cowboy songs.