I’m fascinated at my willingness to let a man I just met stick 3 to 4 inch needles in my feet, legs, shoulder, and gut.  There really is no hesitation on my part to balance the world of allopathic medicine with a more intuitive and natural approach.  It’s not even a choice.   It feels so balanced as my acupuncturist and herbalist work together to help my body get ready for and tolerate chemotherapy. 

If I saw a porcupine with less than ten quills, I’d think she must have had quite a reason to protect herself.  As I was lying there completely blissed out with about that many needles in my body, I was not exactly sure what I was seeing.  My eyes were closed and the colors green, like springtime growth, and lavendar swirled through my mind.  I have tried to draw it, but have not been able to capture what I was seeing.  

I was alone at this point, and I allowed myself to be distracted and picked my head up to see less than 2 inches of one of those needles sticking out of the center of my belly, about mid way between my navel and sternum.  That meant that more than 2 inches was inside me.  All I said was “WOAH girl.”   And as I was tempted to start looking all around at my quilly self, I let the urge pass and sank back into my spring green and lavender visions.

I left with a very strong feeling that I might choose not to use the pharmacy prophylactically this round.  I’m so curious to first see how my body responds on it’s own and to attend acupuncture on days 2 and 3 of the 14 day chemo cycle.  I want to let the herbs and acupuncture help restore my body’s excellent ability to do it’s job.  I’m not into torturing myself…truly.  I have been encouraged to ‘stay ahead of the nausea’ by P a survivor of 9 years and by the chemo ed nurse.  I am so interested in what I will choose when the time comes.  I’m open to many possibilities as I chose to be when I gave birth to A and E.   My sweet long time friend T reminded me tonight how giving birth puts things into perspective.  I feel blessed to have had that experience.