Going to a cancer center exposes one to a lot of people, with cancer – imagine that.  Sitting in the waiting room is eye opening — sort of.  People seem to be optimists or pessimists, and a few Buddhists.  The disease perhaps has the potential to transform a person, but, more frequently it seems to just pull into relief a person’s pre-disposition — bitter and disillusioned people simply become more so.

I’m reminded of the story of a person, who knew themselves to be impatient to a fault.  But, who spent their entire life acting, pretending to be patient.  Patient with family members, and strangers alike everyone received the same count to 10, a deep breath,  a smile, and start again from the top.  And at that person’s funeral that person was eulogized, celebrated for their patience – which was all an act, a façade.  And so were they a fake, a fraud, or a patient person?

What I learned at ChemoEd:  we have to keep the bathrooms and kitchen even cleaner than we do.  That I will buy soft bristle toothbrushes and hydrogen peroxide for P to gargle with.  Probably I will add Cranberry juice to the shopping lists, just, because it is tough on infections.  Our diet is good and so we just need to keep it up.  Drink a gallon of water a day.  Don’t let the nausea and diarrhea get started.   And that we can’t really predict how P will react to the drugs – just more walking in the dark – but, hair loss and GI distress are fairly routine side effects.  This stuff is just plain toxic, it kills everything and we just hope it kills the bad more than the good.