I found out the biopsy results while B was on a week long trip to Alaska.  My surgeon called Friday at 7pm telling me it was breast cancer.  I went to A’s softball tourney the next day and flew out to a pleasure/business trip in Arizona at 6:50 am on Sunday.  No one but my surgeon and I knew.

The day before I left for Tucson, I decided to write B a letter in spite of the fact that news like this in a letter is pretty lame.   He knew I went for a biopsy.  His trip home from AK and my travels to AZ had us in a million different time zones…well, ok, not a million but it felt like it because we were in the air at the same time flying to opposite sides of the country.  SO I wrote a “here’s what happened while you were gone”  letter, with only a paragraph about my health out of 4 juicy pages.  Other stuff included the condition of the house, what I was and was not able to keep up with in his absence, what the kids were up to,  stuff like that.  All I wanted was to hear about his trip with our friends in AK, and now breast cancer was inserted into what we would be talking about when we finally spoke.  CRAP.

I left the note on the table with the biggest bag of peanut M & M’s that I could find.  I think it was, like, 2 pounds.  I was grateful that I was going to Tucson to be with S,  but I was going so far away from the people who I wanted to tell the most.