Short story:  Blood work is excellent.  CT scan looks as normal as can be. Breast and scar exam uneventful.

Longer story: I got home from today’s workshop and as I walked onto the porch, I was struck by the sugar maple tree.  It’s starting the transformation and I am tinkling with anticipation.  It becomes the reddest tree in view on our property.  It is the tree that I saw from my bed  this time last year during all the kat naps I was taking.  It was my reminder about the change in seasons and the beauty that surrounds our home.

So I’ll be the first to say that maybe my mind was not tormented by thoughts and what ifs before the CT scan results came in, but apparently something inside of me was.  Oh, my digestion was fine.  I lost no sleep.  My nerves seemed fine.  Blood pressure the usual low range.  There was, however,  something else that I noticed was lifted once Dr. Oncologist told me that the CT scan looked “beautiful”.  We are planning a 3 day canoe to the campsite weekend this weekend.  At the beginning of the week I was sort of saying things to myself like “why did I commit to do this, I would rather be home…have other things….” You know.  I was dealing with the common trepedation I experience when I commit myself to do something that requires something out of the ordinary. 

By the way, digital CT scans are so cool.  Dr. O rolled her finger over that thing on the mouse as we looked at my guts in black, white, tones of gray.  One thing sort of rolled into the next, the mastectomy, my esophagus, my lungs, my liver, kidneys.  That adrenal lesion that we saw on the very first CT scan.  It’s still 3mm, unchanged, benign, fairly common.  We will keep tabs on it because if it grows to 5mm, it will be recommended to me to have it removed so it doesn’t take up room and so we can forget it ever existed.  BUT for now, it’s going along for the ride that is my life. 

As I left the cancer center, I was looking at the crystal blue autumn sky, beautiful colors lining the roads, and was thinking about the smell of the campsite, the crackle of the campfires that I’ll be sure to get up early enough to start and stay awake late enough to be the last one staring into the embers.  I love rustic camping, love being outdoors, and now that I hear that it’s supposed to be something like 50 degrees and sunny, I can’t wait to get on the water.  The fact that I have tomorrow OFF to prepare makes it all double plus good.

When I was driving today I thought about the calls I made to my family when I went to Arizona after initially receiving the breast cancer diagnosis.  At the time, I was so intrigued that they were all available when I needed them.  I don’t think I left one voicemail. The same thing happened today when I called each of them to report the good news.  The greater good took care of making that happen again as the circle closes.